From the Mouth of Sauron Date: 08-31-95 Issue: E-36 Note: all authors retain exclusive rights to their material. Reprinting is allowed for non-commercial game use only. The Mouth is edited by Brian Mason and Tom Walton. All correspondence can be sent to them at: Brian Mason - mason@chara.gsu.edu Tom Walton - kazandar@ix.netcom.com, Back issues of "From the Mouth of Sauron" and the general info files are available at chara.gsu.edu via anonymous ftp. First Word ========== Those of you who are familiar with our ezine, you may remember a while back Tom and I being engaged in a truly fabulous game of me-pbm, game 97. This was an immensly entertaining game, thanks largely to well matched playe rs on both sides. Tom and I roundly and repeatedly praised the exceptional play of our adversaries, especially Brian Lowery and Steve Latham, who made the game "one for the ages." The game was so marvelous that I didn't mind losing that much (well, that's a lie, I minded it a great deal ...). Shortly after the demise of that game we got into another game, started as an all-email game, and were fort unate enough to play with Brian and Steve this time. However, game 22 was fated not to last very long, and towards the end of it, two of our allies, namely Brian and Steve, proposed another game, this time with all neutrals pre-assigned and all positions played by active, c ooperative individuals. Thus, largely through the efforts of Brian and Dave Rossell, game 204 was born. In this game, Tom and I took our customary roles as the "kicking boys of Mordor" and once more were (and are being) inflicted with severe dam age. Our hope is that, even if we fall, the victory of Mordor over the Eothraim and Northmen, will be Pyrric and will more than be made up by victories by our Free Allies in other regions. So, why am I bothering you with all of this? I consider it not unlikely that I will use these First/Last Word spaces for the opportunity to vent once more over a very tough game. Since you will be subjected to my periodic core dumps, I thought I'd bring you up to sp eed. Brian Personals ========= Looking for other players in game 39 (2950) I represent a group of three experienced DS players in game 39 circa 2950 and would like to hear from other players in that game. I don't care if you are DS, FP or Neutral. I wanna have fun. We can always trade insults with the FP! :) Paul Stratton stratton@seattleu.edu 206/822-6063 (pacific time zone) Vampires Again ============== Apparently the table I sent for the last Mouth got jumbled. Here it is again. If you have troubles reading it still, I can try to reformat it or something. - -- Sam ============================== The following is some data for a vampire encounter that I recently had in the Rhun area. Others have had it in Mirkwood and Umbar. My encounter occured on one of my pop centers, and no foreign characters showed up on the turn report, nor did any NPC influence the loyalty. The vampire probably has a challenge of 50-70. Defeating it gives you gems/gold. Most times the char escapes with 1 health. My char (challenge 21) died when he tried saying "Thuringwethil". The vampire's response was, "Your words have no power over me." "He is at a camp when a sudden chill passes through him and a shadow momentarily obscures the stars overhead. Alert and ready for action, he scanned the surrounding terrain but could see nothing. Then from out of the night he heard a hollow voice. "Little do I like others so near to where my errands take me! Speak, lest I silence you forever." Options FREE DARK NEUTRAL UNKNOWN ALIGNMENT ATTACK ALLEGIANCE combat(5) INTERROGATE combat(1) combat(4) APOLIGIZE combat(3,5) REQUEST info combat(6) WAIT say ______ "thuringwethil" combat FLEE =================================================================== People who provided the data (perhaps (3) and (5) can gives us the alignment of their chars involved): (1) eichmann@ceres.amp.uni-hannover.de (Holger Eichmann) (2) Ian Pearson (ian.pearson@bbsrc.ac.uk) (3) v011l6fc@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu (DAVE ROSSELL) (4) holzhauer@delphi.com (Jeff Holzhauer) (5) James. CH93026@sci.port.ac.uk (6) rhyll@aol.com (Dan DeYoung) (7) kgiven@aol.com (KGiven): >"Sam, >I believe you've run into one of the rarer variants of a vampire >encounter (there are at least three). The voice is the female >vampire "Thuringwethil" (unlike the other Celgor vampire >encounters). As far as I know, there haven't been enough >encounters to confirm a "safe" response." Artifacts ========= >From Larry Bundy ---------------- ME 2950 Artifact Known Secondary Power 117 - Hatred Curse Cast Capital Return 119 - Moon-Axe Cast Minor Heal >From Tom Lutke -------------- To all, I always thought that if a mage with a combat artifact casts a combat spell, then the effects of the combat artifact are negated. Recently, I was told by another player that this was untrue. So, I Emailed GSI and asked them directly. This is the response I got. >In response to your question(s) when a mage casts a combat spell, >while possessing an artifact they both are added to the combat >totals yet, only one message is generated. Riddles ======= >From Mark Mills --------------- Brian: I wanted to pass along this riddle which I encountered recently in a MEPBM 1650 scenario game: I've never seen it posted, but it was so easy that maybe no one has needed to post it : ) From the outer dark into the world was she called Terror, pollution, and great evil was what she bred. Sipping the sap to all our great peril She helped to cause the light to go dead. Fighting even the Black Enemy with some success 'Til she was forced to some dark recess And even now may not be dead. The answer is "Ungoliant". Newbie Thoughts on ME-PBM 2950 ------------------------------ by John Amenta Given Brian and Tom's desperate pleas for articles to the Mouth, I thought I would submit some Newbie thoughts to ME-PBM 2950 that might give a new perspective to old players or similar perspective to other new players. First, however, I wish to give a tremendous thank you to both Brian and Tom for Mouth issues 1-34, they added more depth to ME-PBM than perhaps GSI deserves (but Tolkien certainly does) and every single article was a joy to read. (Ok, maybe not every single one.) I signed up for a ME-PBM 2950 game just recently, and am now in the waiting period, going on week 3 for game start. I heard also the wait could potentially take up to 3 months. This is somewhat of a shock to someone fai rly new to the PBM arena. Another shock I have received is the realization that I am actually going to pay $6.50 a turn in ME-PBM. It is relatively expensive given that I am not rich at the moment. And it is a bit upse tting also that GSI will offer no discounts for Email turns, while OTHER pbm companies do, and email does facilitate less overhead. Also, some of the reports in the Mouth of GSI's customer service practices has not made me too thrilled about future prospects of ME-PBM, especially in the area of rules refinement or even rules expansion. Why especially, GSI has failed to do anything about the common complaint of HEAVY CAVALRY being the on ly worthwhile military unit in ME-PBM, or the slaughter of armies on the battlefield with no allowed retreat - seems to be the biggest mystery of all. After reading the 2950 rules I became excited about a number of things that I will now tell you about. First is City development. I can build my own cities anywhere I want. Really, I ain't lying. Just the idea of building new cities somewhere on the Middle Earth map draws my imagination up, and if I get the right nation , I can even hide my cities. (Note I use city as a convenience, since I am aware a city starts off as a camp. I am also aware due to economics in 2950, that my camps will have a tough time every becoming a city, unless I am in the game for about 100 turns or $650 dollars). Collecting artifacts. Now this is one area I look forward to as a Newbie. I wonder how many artifacts a nation could possible collect if it is artifact crazed? GSI lists 213 total artifacts in the 2950 rules, and boy d o they all look interesting. I mean "Sword of Soul Reducing" and the "Foam Cleaver" and the "Elfhewer" are all artifacts I would like to own and have for myself. And having those artifacts, you could give some away to o ther players as a sign of your benevolent and warm nature. And some of them add tremendous power to your armies on the battle field. I would also like to own any or all of the rings of power, Vilya, Nenya or Narya. And then to find out what special powers the artifacts I own have. I especially look forward to "Teleport" artifacts, since I think it is pretty cool to be able to have your character appear anywhere in a single turn, I mea n ANYWHERE. "Hey Bob, did you see what I just saw?" "Get back to work Ding, it ain't Elrond, and my orc ass is blue." Sending my characters on miniature adventures and obtaining back dialog from GSI, in the form of riddles and little prose vignettes of Middle Earth encounters. I enjoy the prose vignettes because they often are of fairly decent quality and add a sense of my actual existence within Middle Earth, and that my characters I control are flesh and blood. I will be able to build armies that will defeat my enemies, and with careful surveillance of enemy marching orders, will shock them with overpowering destruction when they come across one of several hosts. My enemies will learn to fear my military prowess and strategic genius, I am sure of it - this is one of the most exciting of MEPBM prospects for me. Also: the idea to to have some total Cavalry armies that will move faster than HEAVY INFANTRY seems provocative. I will probably build a Cavalry force just to see how fast I can move about enemy territory and make them wonder which way I'm going to go next. Another aspect of MEPBM I am looking forward to being a Newbie is being in a game of 25 players and watching how the events unfold in a game with so many potential personalities. Of course, I imagine a game can be ruined by too many player drops, but it seems from previous Mouth issues, that even with drops and an imbalanced game, drama can still be high, as a player digs into the trenches and battles it out just to battle it out, in a c ause all his own. I like this idea too, even if I find myself losing, I can play with the idea of honor uppermost in my mind - virtue and courage to fight until the final $6.50 turn. I found the 2950 rulebook cover to be pretty awesome, depicting Eowyn's final struggle with the Lord of the Nazgul in full colorful splendour. The rulebook was worth that picture alone being the Tolkien fan I am. The rules themselves I found well organized and well written (Surprise). The Orders concept I find fascinating and challenging, especially the sequencing of orders, which can be critical in certain circumstances I imagine. Th e ME map I found ok. In fact, I have to admit a little disappointment - for some reason I imagined the map would be much bigger and with greater graphical detail. But now that I have gotten used to it (used magic putty and put it on my study wall) I am beginning to like it more. Finally, I look forward to meeting new fellow ME_PBM players on the battlefield. Matching my military wits and gaming acumen with them in a land that can never be forgotten, steeped in lore unparalleled in literary history. Tolkien was a remarkable man, and his creation always leaves me in awe whenever I come back to it. See you there. A Reply to Colin Forbe's Article ================================ By Larry Bundy I'd like to respond to Colin Forbe's article "2950 Scenario" in issue #34 in which he states his belief that the release of info on 2950 in this and other medium will take away the mystery and somewhat spoil the enjoyment of this new scenario. First. to inroduce myself, my name is Larry Bundy and I have played ME 1650 since game #3 and am presently in 3 games of 2950. Although I agree that learning the mysteries of ME on ones own is fun, it is unrealistic in 2950, and, I believe, the cause of so much bad press about the game. In my first match (started in winter, just to add insult to injury) it has taken forever to get going. In that, I agreed heartily with those who said the new set-up just meant an additional 10 turns in GSI's coffers. However, since picking up the nation info in rec.games.pbm my opinion has changed drastically. Applying that info in my next two games has allowed me to battle, both with armies and characters, constantly from turn #1. The excitement is even higher than in 1650 since, a mis-step in this scenario spells disaster. This info is not my own alone, most of the players (on both sides) have it and that is why things have become so exciting. Without the info, as in my first game, we were all too weak and unsure to forge outwards. This caused most players (myself included) to huddle at home and try to raise our nation up to 1650 standards before venturing forth. This resulted in a boring start. ( One exception is the Rhun whose army accidently moved to the Northman capital and found only 100 troops there. He has been rampaging up that way ever since and my hat's off to him). In conclusion, I firmly believe, IMHO, that the widespread use of the info collected in this and other formats will make 2950 an exciting medium to play in. Good hunting all, Helcent. A Soldiers Tale ================ by Gary Drebit This is not an old tale, but a true one. I know, I was there. Working in the mines of Mordor was not a happy life for me. I wanted the smell of fresh air and the feel of grass beneath my feet. For an Troll, this is uncommon but not unheard of. Many of us wished we were farmers or herder's but were not. We are miners; producing bronze or steel, sometimes mithril. It is well known that our land is barren and will not produce the crops that we would enjoy like our neighbors to the west. A group of us tried to start farms in the rich bottom land and our farming community was just starting to grow, our fields were just starting to produce, when they came. I have heard of him; from Minas Anor, "The Prince-Regent", "The next King of the Northern Gondor Empire, Regent Telumehtar. The Heavy Calvary, 900 strong that he lead, rode over the crest of the hill with flags waving and drums beating; as if we were an invading army. As the elected leader of our group, I tried to explain that we are simple farmers. That we are willing to pay taxes to his King. But he did not listen. He could not see past the texture of my skin or the slur of my common speech. It still makes my blood hot to remember his face uttering those words, "This is not your land and you, and your kind, have no right to be here. Go now!" "But Sire" I begged, "our crops are just about ripe and a year of work will be ruined." "Do not worry about the crops" he stated. "They will feed the good people of Northern Gondor, now leave before we set the torch. Tell your King that we will not tolerate this type of encroachment onto our land." With my child crying in my wife's arm, I gathered what little I could; as they watched and urged us to be quicker. We loaded the cart with what we could in the time they had given us. I was sorry to leave the plow behind but when the scarred faced sergeant saw that it was molded from steel, they wouldn't let us take it. We started to make the journey back to Durthang. The mood of our city, and our Great King, was already changing when we arrived. The people no longer wanted to locked in the prison of Mordor. Poor food, poor economy, and poor conditions were all caused by the Northern Gondors. No longer were we content to live on the "reserved land." The Kingdom of the Fire King had already made war against the Northern Gondors capturing the town of Minas Ithil, a town that they claim was their's many lifetimes ago. I also heard a rumor that our Great King, Hoarmurath; also sees the injustice of the way land is divided and was calling for a great army to move against the Northern Gondors. I remembered my embarrassment in front of the Prince-Regent Telumehtar. I remembered the Northern Gondor sergeant telling me to leave my plow. I remember kissing my wife good-bye as I joined the Heavy Infantry of the Ice King. We marched to Osgiliath the next day arrived at the morning mist. I could also see the banner of the Fire King as well from our camp. I could not tell if this was the army from Minas Ithil or a fresh unit. They looked as fresh as us and hungry for a fight. There was no time to rest or eat before the horn sounded to form our attack line. War is funny in the sense of what you remember from a battle. Don't ask me how many Northern Gondors I killed, for I do not have a number but there was many. What I do remember was the Northern Gondor Naval ship, full of troops, watch as we sacked Osgiliath. There was no time for spoils as our Commander moved our force to there capital city, Minas Anor. We arrived later that night and lit our fires. Not only to warm ourselves in the cool night air but also to show our large numbers to the city militia. Although I'm a simple Troll and not schooled in war, I believe the tactic was to instill fear of our size to the enemy. In the morning I was nudged awake by Killum, one of my recent friends. "Were going to die" he said. "Don't be stupid" I replied rolling over to my side to look in the direction he was staring in. My heart almost stopped when I saw the army filing out of the city gate. It out numbered us 2 to 1 and they had Heavy Calvary units, something we did not. Before I had time to say or react to anything, the sound of the battle horn filled my ears. Again we moved into our attack line. I said good-bye to Killum, for he was right; were about to die. My only regret was not kissing my wife one last time and that the Northern Gondor army facing us was lead by that bastard, Prince-Regent Telumehtar. I braced myself for the attack that would send me to my god but instead, one of our Knights rode to the front just ahead of our Commander. His armor was pure black and without a mark on it. I didn't remember seeing him at Osgiliath, for I would have remembered. "A challenge was issued, a challenge" was whispered through our ranks. Prince-Regent Telumehtar rode forward to meet our Knight. He looked confident and smiled with his other Officers until he saw the size of the challenger. "Your blood will be at my feet" our Knight shouted as our troops started to bunch up to get a better view. "I will send you back to Saron!" the Prince-Regent shouted back. I could only see the top of his helmet as my view was getting worse. There was a loud crash of armour and shield, and then another before I large gasp was heard from the troops of the Northern Gondors. Suddenly, our attack horn was sounded and our line ran forward screaming and shouting in victory. "The Prince-Regent, their Commander, is dead" someone shouted, "long life and good praise from Saron, to our Knight" another screamed. In my staggered, blind running I came upon the spot that the challenge took place. Our Knight was not to be seen but the blood tramped corpse of Prince-Regent Telumehtar was still there. As I had said before, I don't remember much about battles but I do remember spitting on what remained of the Prince. "It's not enough" I thought, as I ran to catch up with the rest of my company. Saruman's Diary =============== Tom, In bouncing about the net I came across a charming story which I thought would work nicely within "From the Mouth of Sauron." I wrote to the author and got his permission to publish it. First, I enclose my correspondence, and then the story. Brian -------------- I really enjoyed the work. I co-edit a free ezine for the Play-by-Mail game "Middle-earth" called "From the Mouth of Sauron." I'd like to ask if we could include it in our next issue. Brian Mason co-editor, From the Mouth of Sauron -------------- > I really enjoyed the work. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. It was fun to write, too. > I co-edit a free ezine for the Play-by-Mail game "Middle-earth" >called "From the Mouth of Sauron." I'd like to ask if we could >include it in our next issue. Sounds like fun! My answer is yes, with two (small) conditions: one, that the copyright and disclaimers at the end of the article stay with it intact; and two, that you send me a copy of the 'zine when it comes out. (It' s partly to see what context it'll be in, and partly because I'm curious; I haven't heard of that game before, and the 'zine title is intriguing.) :) Thanks for the interest! Hope your readers like it! -O.- -------------- And now, the story... ================================================================== : ...The problem with things like Dunlendings and Variags is that : the winners wrote all the history-books, so it's hard to get : objective information about a lot of the Bad Guys. [snip] : : ohh@netcom.com We may have Bilbo's _Red Book of : Westmarch_, but I'd pay good money to : read a copy of Khamul's : _Black Book of Dol Guldur_. :) :) :) ..Evidently I have relatives in England, though _they_ spell "Sharp" with an extra "e". :) In today's mail I received a small number of draft pages from the as-yet-untitled _HoME_ XII along with a hard copy of the above article and a note from "Aunt Nan", saying she'd met CJRT as a result of finding this MS in "Uncle Avery's" papers and bringing it to his attention - and then managed to obtain these draft-pages for me after seeing the above article. Amazing! I'm not sure whether to say "Ask and ye shall receive", or "It's a small world after all"; since the latter is a grotesque Disney product, I'll stick with the former. :) I'll duplicate this as best I can without typographical equipment. Footnotes are in {curly brackets,} and are given at the end of the article. Yes, I know that means scrolling up and down a lot. Sorry. ..Amazing coincidence, isn't it? If you didn't know me better, you'd swear I made the whole thing up. (big evil grin) ------------------------------------------------------------------- ohh@netcom.com "The words of this wizard stand on their heads." -Gimli (_TT_, p. 184 hardback) ================================================================== THE DIARY OF CURUMO {1} In all the works given in the history so far, there has been only one account of the events at Isengard, and that is the one given, in various forms, in _Two Towers_ and 'The Fall Of Saruman' (VIII. Part One). But the tale of Isengard consists in fact of two seperate accounts. The second account, once intended for the Appendices, has only recently come to light, found written on the back of several examination papers in the effects of one Mr Avery Sharpe of Bristol, now recently deceased. The text is here in a very rough state, pencilled hastily and often almost illegibly, sometimes erased and on one occasion actually spray-painted over. On the 30th of April 1944 my father wrote to Mr Sharpe that he would 'have your final examinations back to you any day now'; on the 4th of May (_Letters_ no. 65), having read one entry to C. S. Lewis on the 1st, he was 'busy now with the next'; and on the 11th (no. 67) he said that he had read his 'final Orthanc entry to Lewis and Williams three days before, and they both hated it'. A letter to Mr Sharpe in my father's most ornate hand (no. 219) was found with the manuscript, dated the 29th of September 1959, saying he was 'terribly sorry about the delay in returning this'. {2} An isolated note written on a cocktail napkin no doubt belongs with this chapter: "King Elessar, after he was crowned in Gondor, began the reordering of his realm, and one of his many tasks was the restoration of the Tower of Orthanc. Then it was that all the secrets of the tower were revealed. Many things of worth were found, rare treasures and heirlooms from Rohan, brought (we guess) by Grima Wormtongue during the days of his deception; and the Box of Isildur, where Isildur's Bane of old once was kept; yea, even the Elendilmir itself, given to Elendil by Silmarien before the fall of Westernesse, the token of royalty of Arnor of old; and many other secrets besides. {3} And among them there was a compass, bound all in black, and upon the leaves was the hand of Curumo, now written with firm hand, now scrawled in haste in its owner's dismay. This Elessar read, and bore it back to the Tower of Guard to complement the reunited kingdom's scrolls of lore." 27 February 3019 {4}: Incredibly good news! One of the crows just got here with a report. It seems that yesterday the Uruks scattered what's left of Olorin's little band of wanderers. They even captured two of those pathetic little halflings! Ahhh ha ha ha haa! And now they're bringing them here! If they don't actually _have_ the Ring, they'll certainly know where it is. Hah! Victory is just around the corner. I just wish that pathetic pseudo-Wise bastard Olorin were here to see me win and defeat Sauron while he was out playing mah-jongg with all those mortal weaklings. But if he ever re-bodies and comes back from Valinor, I'll show him I wasn't called Curunir for nothing! {5} The first troops from Dunland began arriving at the Gate today. I was tempted to dismiss them and send them all back; once I have the Ring, I'll have all of Sauron's forces at my beck. Who needs these weak, black-haired terrorists? But I chose to let them stay anyway. It'll be fun to let them have their little revenge against the Forgoil {6} before I enslave them all. Besides, they may come in handy as a mopup crew around Rivendell or something. Most of the troops from the Fords are back, too, exultant from the victory there; that kid of Theoden's is finally dead, and no longer a thorn in my side. {7} Everything is going my way! The only problem now is finding enough food for all these troops. Dinner wasn't too bad tonight: smoked salmon. I really think using fresh wood makes all the difference. I wonder if the factories have finished that rowan-wood desk I demanded? Or gotten it right yet? They've already built dozens, and I've rejected every one of 'em. Stupid bastards. They just can't seem to make one that looks right, even when I send my crows out to pick the best wood first. {8} But damn it, they'll get it right if it takes the rest of their miserable pathetic little mortal lives. 28 February 3019: More Dunlendings arriving today. It looks like I'll have ten thousand troops within the Ring! {9} A lot of the newcomers are saying they don't want to "sleep with the Orcs". Hah! If they only knew! You'd think that a few of them, at least, would have begun to notice the resemblances. But I want to keep them all together, anyway; they need to work together, if they're going to fight together as brothers. Or second cousins, anyway. {10} It's getting harder and harder to stay away from the Ball. I want to see the halflings, and see how close the Uruks are; the Ring is so close I can almost taste it. But if I use the Ball, He might read too much of my thought. And then what? The Nazgul come after the Orcs, wham bang; and the halflings are gone, and He gets the Ring. No, I _have_ to stay away from the Ball. I know He's expecting a report, but I can't take the chance. Once I have the Ring, though, _then_ I'll contact Him... and tell Him what His new duties will be to the Realm of Saruman. Maybe I'll make Him my boot-black... that is, if he's _good_ enough at it.... The stress of waiting for the halflings to be delivered is almost more than I can take. I keep imagining things going wrong. Some of His troops are out there, too. Mauhur's near the Forst with reinforcements, but I'm still worried. My nerves are killing me. I'm going outside for a smoke... no, better stay inside, someone might see me. {11} Dammit, I _have_ to cut back on the pipe-weed. It's just ruining my voice. 29 February 3019: I've _got_ to get a look at that Ring. I want to see how He put it together, how He got His Power into it. I was with Aule a lot longer than He was; I should know more than Him about it! Maybe He learned things from the Great Enemy that Aule couldn't teach. It's not like the Lamps were all that clever a piece of work, anyway. {12} I've _got_ to get a look at that Ring. Maybe I could get _my_ ring to work. Oh, sure, I can control Worm with it; but I can control Worm with a harsh look, the pathetic little leech. No, the Ring-lore has only given me Voice; only the Ring itself will give me power! {13} I can't wait any longer; I'm going out there to meet them. I want the halflings now, not sometime next week! I'll leave Ulugl'm in charge {14} while I'm gone; he knows what he's doing, even though he babbles all the goddamned time. He'll keep all the troops in line, if he doesn't bore them all to sleep first. I'm on my way as soon as I'm done writing this. I just need to get something to eat before I go. The damned Dunland merchants just can't get me fresh vegetables, and you just can't get anything to grow inside the Ring. Is asking for some decent vegetables asking too much? {15} 2 March 3019: The last three days have been perfectly damned miserable. Everything's gone wrong. I have a headache you wouldn't believe. I left Isengard on Wednesday, right after lunch, and set out East over the Bridge {16}; early Thursday morning, I saw smoke rising near Fangorn. There was something about it that held my attention, and so I headed towards it. Sure enough, late Thursday afternoon, I found the Orcs. They'd all been killed and burned by those damnable Horsemen! _All_ of 'em! Even Mauhur and his reinforcements! {17} The whole thing left me a little sick and dizzy. I think the shock must have temporarily snapped my mind; I wandered for a time, lost in thought, and that night I swear I saw a _Dwarf_ in Fangorn Wood! Impossible! He was with a Man and an Elf; the Man leaped up and said I was his _father!_ Dammit, it's these lousy provisions I keep getting that are doing it. It's malnutrition, I tell you. Once I get the Ring I've got to set up a stronghold where I can at least get some decent food. {18} Friday morning I was a little more clearheaded. I went back and searched the battleground. There's no doubt about it: the filthy Forgoil must have killed the halflings, and taken the Ring for themselves! If they don't have it, they certainly know where it is now. I've got to stop them before they try to use it! They won't know enough about the Ring to use all its powers, of course, not yet; they haven't studied all the ancient Ring-lore, as I have. But if they try using it at all, He'll notice! And He'll come after it! I can't risk that. I made it back here late last night and roused the Guard. I have to attack the Mark immediately; it's the only way to stop them from using the Ring! I can't trust Worm to filch it in time; I have to get it from them quickly, and that's exactly what I'll do - even if I have to destroy every filthy Brigand of the Mark to do it! {19} ...For some reason lately, I keep on thinking about the Great Music. I remember Olorin and I singing the same melody for a time, and that moment when I thought I'd found a stronger theme and started singing it instead. And it sounded so good, so strong and powerful, I _knew_ the One would appreciate it most of all. But then Olorin's damned major-chords got all confused with my minors, and I lost track of where I was, and I lost my voice. And right when I'd recovered, and was _just_ starting to sing again, the One ended the _music!_ _Damn,_ that was frustrating!... Why am I thinking about that now? As if I haven't got enough to think about. It's really beginning to get on my goddamned nerves. I need another smoke. Damn that Olorin for getting me started on this accursed weed. ...It's coming up on midnight now, and Ulugl'm tells me (in his usual long-winded style) that they're almost ready to march. There's enough of them to decimate Edoras! And Wormtongue'll keep that old fool Theoden unprepared; by the time he sees what's coming, it'll be too late for them all. I've had a pretty bad setback, but now that I've had a good meal (venison stew; it was surprisingly good, even the vegetables were fresh for a change) {20} and some time to think, I'm in much better spirits. I should have the Ring, or at the least know where it's hidden, within a handful of days. And then, nothing will be able to stop me - not even Him! Now to go downstairs and send my minions off to kill the horse-vermin. This will be a glorious night! I'll have to remind the captains to search the bodies of Theoden and his household for the Ring - inside and out, if necessary. I must get the Ring! {21} 3 March 3019: This has been a _really_ wretched day. I no sooner finish sending my armies after Edoras when what happens? Some psychotic tree comes and starts hammering at the Gate and yelling like hell. And when my stupid ineffectual guards can't get rid of it - what the hell's wrong with them? Aren't they _fed_ well enough? {22} - it calls more trees, and they all start tearing apart the Ring! The whole damned Ring of Isengard! One of them got in and tried to kill me! The damned monstrosity chased me all the way back to the Tower, screaming that I was a "tree-killer"; I was lucky to make it back in alive! What the hell _is_ this? Why are they so upset over one lousy desk?! Ahhh, but once I was back in the Tower - _then_ I gave them something to think about! I fired up the furnaces and the forges, and started sending up fires and gas from underground. Hah! _That_ made 'em think twice! I set one of 'em afire with a spray of _narphilm_ {23}, and the rest just went crazy. Hah! It was so _funny_ watching them hurl themselves against the Tower! Oh, they were loud; I thought my eardrums would break from their screaming. But it was delightful! They may have torn the Ring to shreds, but it looked like they were all going to kill themselves too! But they didn't, damn it. They all just stopped. I think they all got bored with the attack when they realized they'd never be able to defeat me. A few hours ago most of them left, walking away to the North. Not all of them; a few are still loitering around in the Ring. I can still see a couple from here. Stupid damned wretched Ents! When I get the Ring I'll burn all their forests to the ground. {24} But I'm stuck here, at least until these last few trees pack up and leave and go attack somebody else. Once they go, though, I'm heading South. My troops should be starting to sack Edoras tomorrow morning, and then I'll be able to claim the Ring for myself. But I need _news,_ damn it; and my crows refuse to come while those last few trees are here. And I don't dare use the Ball; this is the last thing I'd want Him to find out about!No, no, patience, I must be patient; once these last few deranged trees get tired of standing around they'll leave to cause ruin elsewhere, and I can continue with my plans. I've almost got the Ring; all I have to do now is be patient. I'll definitely need a new fortress. Something with a decent kitchen for a change. I wonder if the Barad-dur has a good kitchen? 4 March 3019: Damn those stupid Ents! They're making my life hellish. I woke up choking around three this morning, and found the room full of smoke; I thought I'd been smoking in bed again, but no! _The damnable trees have flooded the Ring!_ They poured water in for hours; it's been flooding all the basements, the factories, breeding-pits, storerooms, armouries, dungeons, playrooms, everything! The Downward Passage has been flooded all day. I'm trapped in here like an ant. It's only been the last few hours that I've been able to open a window around here. I don't know how the hell I'm going to get all this repaired. Once my troops get the Ring from Edoras, how the hell am I going to get out of here to _get_ it? It's not like these Trees are going to provide me with a rowboat. This is really making me sick. And there's _nothing_ to eat around here; just some cheese and crackers, and the cask of wine I had waiting for the victory celebration. {25} I _knew_ I should have kept some more food in the Tower! Dammit, the hunger's making me lightheaded. I've been chain-smoking all afternoon; it clears the stench from the flooding, and takes my mind off the hunger. I've got to think of a way out of here. Maybe if I stand on the roof all night like Olorin did, some Eagle will get me out of here and out onto the plain. Or it could just tear me apart, too; they were always Mithrandir's allies anyway. I wonder if that fool Radagast the Bird-Lover knows what's happened? Not that you can ever find him when you need him. Dammit, I've got to get out of here so I can receive the Ring! 5 March 3019: {26} I spent most of the night up on the roof. No Eagles. I drank all the wine; it was the only thing I had left, apart from some stale biscuits I found behind a cabinet. I fear I drank too heavily, and spent a large part of the night (at least, the part I can remember) tracing the lines on the floor with my fingers {27}. I've spent most of the day with a desperate hangover. That pathetic bastard Worm arrived this morning, too; the trees even let him come to the Tower. I thought when I saw him that he'd gotten word of the Ring from Theoden, or perhaps laid hands on the Ring itself, and was bringing it to me! Why else would he leave Edoras? {28} So once he got to the door I yanked him inside - he was soaking wet, and covered in slime, and one of those damnable trees was nearby - and slammed the door. "What in the hell _happened_ here?" he gasped, half-drowned. "I thought you said Isengard was invincible." I ignored him. "Do you have the Ring?" I demanded. "No." "Do you have any _food?_" "I don't have _anything,_" he whimpered. "They kicked me out of the hall. It was either come here, or ride into battle." I let go of him and he fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes. What I wouldn't _give_ for a sack of potatoes! "The strawheads are riding to battle?" I demanded. "Where? How long ago did they leave?" "Uh, they didn't say where," Worm snivelled. "Probably took Eomer's advice, and went for the Fords, I'd guess. And they probably left on the same day I did, the second. Hey, what day is it, anyhow?" "Then they've probably already fought their battle by now," I mused. My forces were enough to mop up any army Theoden could muster, fighting in open ground at the Fords; it could be that the Ring was already on its way here. I still had a chance. "When it's all over, will I still get Eowyn?" Grima asked. {29} "Eowyn?" I screamed. "Eowyn!? I'll give you Eowyn! Filthy little bag of grease. Don't whine to me about trifles! Ask me again once I have the Ring! Once we defeat the former Ring-lord and burn down a few of these forests, and get a couple of decent square meals, _then_ we'll see about getting you that skinny bleached tomboy. For right now, leave me alone! Watch to the South; I'm expecting a delivery." And I kicked him in the ribs and strode upstairs. Grima's pathetic whining hadn't made my hangover any better; I spent the rest of the morning chain-smoking and holding my head between my hands. (Now the _pipe-weed_ is starting to run low! If I run out of that, I'm going to be really ticked.) Just past noon Worm started banging on the door; the noise was so loud, I thought my head was going to explode. "Go away, you grovelling insect!" I cried. "But there's people on the Road," Grima said. "Coming this way." I flung the door open, pushed past Worm and darted for the southern windows. My troops! The Ring! They were here at last! The water had receded, I noted, and the ground was visible; they had a clear path to the Tower. Would the Trees give them any trouble? But even as I looked, my hopes were dashed yet again: they weren't my troops, they were damned Horsemen, and it looked like Olorin at their head! "I thought he was dead," I whispered. "Didn't you _know?_" Worm whined. "He woke Theoden. I saw him twice on the plain on the way here; he's been everywhere! And he's been calling up legends out of the ground, it seems; the tall guy over there says he's Isildur's heir. Eogorne, I think he said his name was." "You're delusional," I spat. "Even if there were an heir of Isildur, would he have a _strawhair's_ name?" But I was staring at Olorin. Something felt different about him. I've always been suspicious about him; but now he looked different, somehow, even at this range. Could _he_ have the Ring? It had to be either him, or Theoden; that would explain his shaking off old age and riding into battle once again. It was also the only way they could defeat my troops! I decided Theoden must have the Ring. And as I watched, a few of them (including a couple of children and this so-called "Isildur's Heir") were dismissed to stand watch at the gates, and the others went around to the North. I spat at Worm as we moved to a northern window. "I see Eogorne got left behind to stand watch," I hissed. "Not being treated very well for an Heir of Isildur, is he?" Wormtongue just whimpered and crawled off somewhere. But then Theoden and Olorin added insult to injury, and they sat down to the North with all their troops and had a big merry _picnic!_ Right in my view! Here I am starving, nothing left to eat here but stale biscuits, and they sit there eating what looked to be a twelve-course meal! {30} _Damn_ them! I felt myself salivating more and more the longer I watched. The vicious, heartless bastards! Olorin put them up to this, I just know it. After I'd watched all I could stand, I knew all hope was lost. Obviously they had the Ring, and obviously I was not in a position to defeat them myself. Did any of my army still exist? Could they make it here in time to overpower Theoden so I could recover the Ring? After all, there weren't more than thirty of them here. I didn't see any choice. I went upstairs to the Pedestal {31} and sat down at the Ball. The idea of facing Him terrified me, but it was the only way I had to locate my troops. I hesitated for what seemed like hours {32}, then I removed the cloth to gaze at the Ball. No sooner had I done so, though, than Worm began banging at the door. "They're here!" he cried. "They're outside the door. They're calling for you!" "Stay here!" I ordered. I went down to the balcony, and stepped out to speak to them from there. ...I don't even want to _talk_ about this. I tried talking to Theoden first, thinking he had the Ring, and hoping I could ally with him now and steal the Ring from him (or have Grima steal it for me) later. At length, though, he made it clear he didn't have it. {33} Stupid old goat! After I insulted him, I turned my full attention upon Olorin. Obviously he had the Ring; I should have realized that immediately. He seemed more powerful; also he had rebodied far too quickly after vanishing in the Mines. {34} The Ring must have been claimed by him! I used all the powers I had; I tried to entice him back inside, as I had before, but this time he refused. And then he had the temerity to ask me if _I_ wanted to come _down!_ Very tempted I was to do so; I could have escaped the Tower, and been free. But then he demanded the keys to Orthanc! My _home,_ goddammit! And my _staff!_ This was asking too damned much. I told him to go fuck himself and went back in to use the Ball; if I could summon my army here quickly enough I'd mop the stones with his insolent tongue, Ring or no Ring! But then he used a word of Command. I didn't know he was even _capable_ of it. {35} And then... he broke my staff! And destroyed my colour! It _must_ be the Ring! It's the only possible explanation! He could never have done that to me _without_ it! And just as they were all getting ready to go, Worm threw something heavy out the window at them (though he just about knocked _my_ head off doing it). Damned insolent fool! But the worst part of my day was still coming. I was stripped of power; I felt like an ordinary mortal Man, tired and weakened. But if I could find my armies with the Ball, and could somehow get word to them, I would still have one last chance of killing Olorin, and gaining the Ring, and regaining my powers. I ran upstairs and found Worm standing next to the Pedestal. And the Ball was missing. That stupid little irresponsible kleptomaniac must have snagged it. "Where's the Ball?" I demanded. "Ball?" he asked. "The Ball," I growled. "The _palantir_. The big black thing. Don't fuck with me, Worm! I need it now! It's our only hope! Where the hell _is_ it?" I started to look under the table for it. "I, uh," he whined, "I threw it at them. Didn't you see it? I was aiming at _them,_ I promise!" ...I don't remember much after that; I remember screaming, and then flying into a rage, but the memories all kind of go black after that. I look at Grima now under the rising moonlight, snivelling in the corner, and he seems to be covered with new bruises; and he shrinks back a little every time I look up. Serves him right, the goddamned little toad. The trees are back again, too. I talked to one of them; he calls himself Treebeard, and if anything he's even more impossibly long-winded than Ulugl'm was. Still, at least I can get news from him (though he fills it with lots of grotesque moralizing), though I'm not sure how much of what he says I believe. {36} Still, though, at least now the Ball is gone; _He_ won't have any way to bug me any more... unless He sends the Nazgul all the way out here; but now that Olorin is wielding the Ring they're probably under _his_ command now. They're probably spying out the Barad-dur for him even now; I doubt _I'll_ ever see a Nazgul ever ever again. {37} ...I'm still hungry. But at least now there's the prospect of fresh meat, at least; Grima seems kind of lean for my tastes, but he might be passable with the right seasonings. {38} FOOTNOTES (all page references are to hardback editions) 1: "Curumo" being a possible Quenya form of the Sindarin "Curunir". _UT_, p. 406. 2: Faux CJRT introduction based on actual CJRT writings from _Lost Road_ p. 155; _Lays_ p. 4; and _WotR_ p. 144. 3: _UT_ p. 275 further describes the loot found at Orthanc. 4: All dates taken from _RotK_ pp. 373-4, or derived from information in _TT_ book III. 5: _Curunir_: translated as "the one of cunning devices" _UT_ p. 434; or more simply, "clever guy". Possibly in modern American English, "smartass". 6: A Dunlendish term for the Rohirrim: "strawheads". _RotK_ p. 408. 7: From _UT_ pp. 359-60: Saruman rested after this victory, as opposed to immediately pressing his advantage. "Saruman made the mistake, fatal as it proved, of not immediately throwing in more forces and proceeding at once to a massive invasion... If the invasion of Westfold had begun five days earlier, there can be little doubt" that Rohan would have been overthrown. 8: _TT_ p. 87 relates this same story from an Entish point of view. 9: "Obviously the Ring of Isengard. It's unlikely Saruman could fit ten thousand troops into the ring he was wearing on his finger, or that he had yet fallen to such folly as to attempt it." [Author's note.] Also cf. Gandalf's comment, _Fellowship_ p. 273: "Only one hand at a time can wield the One". 10: Cf. Treebeard's comment, _TT_ pp. 76-7: "He [Saruman] has been doing something to them [Orcs]; something dangerous. For these Isengarders are more like wicked Men... has he blended the races of Orcs and Men? That would be a black evil!" 11: Saruman's secret smoking-habit is documented in _UT_ pp. 352-3. 12: A posible explanation for Sauron's being listed as a Maia of Aule is implied here: that Sauron was with Aule during the time of the Two Lamps, Illuin and Ormal. Melkor had fled Arda briefly, and at that time "brooded in the outer darkness". It's worth noting that Aule's craftsmanship had been called repeatedly by the other Valar during that time, and so Sauron (and, indeed, Saruman) could have learned much from him at that time. _Sil._ pp. 35-6. 13: Saruman's ring is noted briefly by Gandalf in _Fellowship_, pp. 271-2. As noted elsewhere, it suggests Saruman's possibly attempting to enslave Grima with another ring. Hence the already-published joke about "Grima, the Ringworm". :) More interesting, though, is Saruman's comment, "the Ring-lore has only given me Voice". It gives me a chance to propose a theory: that it was Saruman's investigation of Ring-lore, particularly the One Ring's ability to dominate the wills of others, which first taught him the ability to daunt and influence others with his voice. Certainly the power of his voice had some Ring-like effects on the wills of his listeners (_TT_ p. 183)... but when did Saruman _develop_ this Voice? Before he arrived in Middle-earth, or after he'd arrived and begun his investigation of the Rings? I've found nothing to suggest he had this power before the mid-to-late Third Age. Any suggestions? Comments? 14: "Ulugl'm was not an Orc but a Man, possibly descended from the Numenoreans who once defended Isengard, or perhaps the Dunlendings who held Isengard in years after; or perhaps both. He was known more for his incessant chatter than his skills as a warrior; some say that he envied Curunir, and desired the majesty and persuasiveness of his voice." [Author's note.] For Ulugl'm's ancestry see _UT_ pp. 376-7. Note the name _Ulugl'm_ may possibly even be Elvish in origin: _ulug_ "horrible", and either _ngal_ "loud or incoherant talk" or _glam_ "barbarous confused noise". Not unlike this post. :) 15: In _WotR_ p. 38, Aragorn implies that Isengard would be fertile ground if Saruman weren't there polluting everything; in _RotK_ p. 257, the Ents confirm he was right. 16: "'The Bridge of the Ring-Maker', as Saruman named it in his insolence." [Author's note.] Evidently referring to a bridge built over the Isen by Saruman, roughly one mile East of Isengard. A crossing such as this is deduced by Elfhelm on _UT_ p. 364; Merry points it out to Aragorn on _TT_ p. 171. 17: The Orcs' destruction is documented in _TT_ pp. 58-63. 18: For Saruman's delusion see _TT_ p. 45. Also note Saruman's comment about "a stronghold where I can at least get some decent food"; this may be the first hint of his plans to conquer the Shire, where later he appears at Bag End "looking well-fed and well-pleased" (_RotK_, p. 297). 19: I wrote this as pure conjecture for Saruman's motivations, and oddly enough later found it explicitly confirmed by _WotR_ p. 51. 20: "Now that the Dunlendings were at Isengard in force their families in Dunland took special care to send fresher provisions Eastward, a care they did not take when (as was typical) their people were fewer in the Wizard 's Vale." [Author's note.] 21: _WotR_ p. 29 has Gandalf telling Theoden, "To take you and slay Eomer was what he [Saruman] most desired"; this line is absent from _TT_, perhaps in light of these new instructions from Saruman (though there are still indicators that Theoden was to be taken alive if possible; see _TT_, p. 145). The order to "search the bodies of Theoden and his household inside and out", however, appears to have been followed literally; cf. Theoden's comment on _TT_ p. 185: "They hewed Hama's body before the gates of the Hornburg, after he was dead." 22: The guards were, evidently, well-provisioned (_TT_, p. 165), though the quality of their food was probably better than usual that week because of the presence of the Dunlending's army. See note 20, above. 23: _Narphilm_: prob. Quenya _nar_ "flame, fire" + _pilim_ "arrow" (or possibly _phalma_ "crested wave"). Possibly the root for modern English _napalm_. 24: Merry and Pippin's account of the attack and occupation of Isengard is given in full in _TT_ pp. 171-180. 25. Note Pippin's comment, _TT_ p. 166: "...the deliveries have been rather interrupted in the last few days". 26: The text, at first in a bold hand, is now reduced to a hasty and almost-illegible scrawl. Whether this is due to Saruman's declining situation or the author's disgust with the material is hard to say. The entry for th is date, however, begins with the words "Oh God I can't write another word of this pointless goddamned drivel"; this was struck through almost immediately, and the text continued as written. 27: _TT_ p. 160, emphasis mine: "...there upon a floor of polished stone, _written with strange signs,_ a man might stand five hundred feet above the plain." 28: If the Rohirrim had obtained the Ring, as Saruman had supposed, Grima's stealing it and bringing it to Orthanc was actually quite possible - and, if Theoden had it, even likely. _TT_ pp. 121, 123; also see note #3 above. 29: Eowyn was part of Saruman's promised payment to Grima for his deception. _TT_ pp. 124-5. 30: _TT_ p. 164 and 180. Though it was a good meal, doubtless Saruman's "twelve-course" estimate was exaggerated by his own hunger. 31: "The _palantir_ were each situated on low round tables of black marble, seated in a central cup or depression." [Author's note.] Also stated in _UT_, p. 415. 32: Very possibly it _was_ hours, since the picnic started shortly after noon but the parley at the doors of Orthanc didn't take place until roughly 3:15. _WotR_, p. 72. 33: "Doubtless this happened when Theoden spoke the words, 'A lesser son of great sires am I'; such humility, Saruman knew, would not be found in one who bore the Ring as a weapon." [Author's note.] Theoden's quote can be found at the end of his speech in _TT_, pp. 185-6. 34: "Saruman had no first-hand knowledge of Gandalf's fall with the Balrog, though he had surmised it; rumours had come from the Orcs of Barazinbar, and spies had told him of Gandalf's absence from the Company East of th e Mountains. Also Saruman's estimate of the time Olorin would need to take new raiment was made without considering the possibility of aid from Manwe and the Lords of the West." [Author's note.] 35: He obviously was capable of it, having used a word of Command against the Balrog as well. What a "word of Command" _is_ exactly, however, remains vague. Please don't cite any RPG rules to explain it all for me. _Fellowship_, p. 341. 36: _RotK_, p. 258. 37: Needless to say Gandalf was _not_ wielding the Ring, and Saruman was going to see at least one Nazgul before the night was over - very possibly two, if Sauron dispatched a second Rider to Orthanc after Pippin had looked into the _palantir_. _TT_, pp. 201 and 204-5. 38: Putting a different spin on Gandalf's quote, _TT_ p. 189: "Small comfort will those two have in their companionship; they will gnaw one another with words." :) ------------------------------------------------------------------- What tiny little bits of this may actually be original, and are not already owned by the Tolkien Estate, are copyright 1995 by O. Sharp. If you want to copy it all somewhere else, please do me a favor and ask me about it first. Comments are welcome, but please do all of us a favor and don't quote the entire article to comment on two or three sentences. My apologies for its terrifying length. The information set forth should not be considered canonical or authoritative in any way, except for the actual references given in footnotes. No warranties, express or implied, have been made for this product's usage or fitness for any specific task. Do not exceed recommended dosage. For external use only. =================================================================== Last Word ========= Another long hiatus in the Mouth due to vacation times. I was gone the first week of this month, and Brian took off a couple of weeks later. I'm starting to wonder if you're all getting suspicious about what it is we *really* do.... (That's Bond. James Bond.) I would follow up Brian's commentary on game 204, but I'm getting pounded worse than I ever have in any game; so the pathetic plight of my nation is something I don't want to dwell on at the moment. I'd rather think happy thoughts on the carnage I plan to leave in my wake in my newest 1650 game. One which, for security reasons, I can't identify at the moment - but I hope to spread my glee in the coming months. Crushing the enemy fills me with such joy. An update on War of the Ring: yes, we're still working on it. The current iteration of the game manual looks very little like the first incarnation. Revision after revision after revision, I think the game gets better. I hope so, at least. Brian is hard at work creating the map - a real monster at 10 miles per hex. He's also doing all of the historical research, having a head for this where I don't (I'm ashamed to say I don't even own a copy of the trilogy at the moment). We both agree that the beast has to be done before we grow old and die, so we hope to have the prototype ready sometime in the next few months. After that comes the translation into software. Although I groan everytime I pull the thing up on my pc, I can easily wile away my time into the wee hours poring over the rules, coming up with new stuff and throwing out the old. I do have a question, for those who may be interested: we have a device within the game which at this point is called an Event Card'. Essentially, every player gets one every turn, some of which are used immediately and some of which can be held by the player to be employed at a later time. These cards signify events of varying importance which can aid the campaign against the enemy. Examples would include the intervention of eagles during a battle, the rousing of the Ents, Gandalf's mobilization of Rohan, and so forth. What would you, the potential player, like to see as an event card? The only limitation is that it has to fit into the historical context of the Lord of the Rings. I'm in the midst of brainstorming cards, but I'm bound to miss some interesting things that beg to be included. Finally, if anyone had any problems with this format of the Mouth (regular line lengths, no cuts) please drop me a line and explain the problem. I'm going to separate Those With Nifty Services from Those With Less-Than-Nifty Services in my mailing list to make sure everyone gets the mag intact. Until next time, Tom